31 Years!

3 min readAug 10

My husband and I made it to 31 years. I was 24 when we got married and my husband was 34 (If I did the math right). We had a pretty uneventful anniversary with me starting the day trying to racoon proof the cage that cannot be racoon proofed. Now a day later I’m thinking the racoons will have to be rehomed since I can have racoons or chickens but not both.

I picked up dinner and my middle son dropped in to eat with us. Over the years we’ve had three boys, plus the one ectopic pregnancy. He’s only made the mistake once of trying to tell me that was my girl. I do love my boys and wouldn’t trade them, but once in a while I miss what I would have had with a daughter. Then I wonder if in reality what would have happened was me butting heads with a girl over almost everything.

Things I’ve thought about that I miss are the getting to go clothes shopping with someone that wants to. Teaching makeup and all those girly things. Someone to play with my old barbies, my old dollhouses, and read my Nancy Drew books. What’s funny about that is that there is no guarantee that any daughter would love the things I did. Based on what I see in my boys I probably would have ended up with a girl that spends her days on the computer and being as anti-social as possible.

None of my kids were really interested in Disney or anything along those lines. What’s funny is I’m fairly certain I would have just been winging it with all that anyway. It’s not something I did growing up either. My boys just aren’t really farm kids though they humor me some. I keep hoping for the day one of them pushes my husband to agree to the dog I’ve wanted for years. They don’t care about clothes, social events, or any of the things I think I would have found with a daughter.

Science experiments are the norm in our house — and have been our whole marriage. For the last few weeks my husband has been chasing crickets and grasshoppers around to put them in a test tube and measure their respiration rate. I finally took pity on him and caught him a large grasshopper. All our vacations end up being paired with one of us attending a conference while the other takes the boys to science locations. The most recent trip, I was attending the conference while my husband showed our youngest around DC including the Smithsonian. One of these days I’d love to visit a beach somewhere and just relax, but I’m fairly certain that will be a time with grandkids.

Several of our anniversaries we’ve spend apart. Everything from me moving our house from one state to another while my husband gave a talk in a third state to years when we’ve just been too busy to do anything. Right after getting married my husband took off to another state to teach at the NJ Governor’s School while I stayed in Illinois to work — so we started 30+ years ago this way.


Mom of three boys. Computer programmer living in the country with my husband focusing on my hobbies and youngest son. https://ko-fi.com/athenaandrew