Autism Blaming

3 min readNov 25, 2021

The case involved didn’t come right out and say it’s because you are autistic, but I heard the person in authority saying that he wished the victim was more social. Social can be tough when you are autistic… add to that a new school wearing masks all day. As I heard it I had already guessed the actual problem had been that the actual person to blame had a moment of stupidity and thought they were being funny. It had nothing to do with how liked we were at all.

Making friends at a school when you are the new people is really tough, tough for students and tough for parents. At my older kid's school where my middle son started in second grade and my oldest was starting 6th, we still were on the edges even years later. My oldest never really completely meshed with his class and doesn’t ever want to return or interact with those kids. My middle son made several friends, I made a couple friends at least from his class but he still has moved on. The rest of the kids from my middle son’s class all seem to keep in touch (parents too). His class from grade school recently lost their first classmate (car accident), a Facebook text chain was created by the parents and a memorial was put on for all the kids to get together and remember. His best friends from that time went on to spread all over the country. I love that he has that sort of interaction available to him. He also made great friends in college and interacts with them most weeks.

Moving my youngest to a new school is tough. His first school we hadn’t really got to know any parents at the school, but he had at least one good friend (who surprisingly had the same birthday as him), moving on to his next school he made a couple great friends (one of which is still at our house at least once a month), now at his new school he’s still trying to find his niche. I know he will get there, but I keep hoping I’ll get to know some parents too.

With my middle son to help him fit in we invited his whole class over for a party at the start of school. First off it was second grade and second there wasn’t a virus going on… but that really helped him get to know his classmates a little more. It was a surprise to me when the parents dropped their kids and took off to do errands or whatever, but it was a great opportunity for our second son to get to know people.

We don’t really have that option with middle school, and there are no longer the chances to volunteer to be a room parent in junior high, volunteer for class parties or any of the usual method to get…


Mom of three boys. Computer programmer living in the country with my husband focusing on my hobbies and youngest son.